One of the best parts of getting married, I thought, was being able to say goodbye to dating life. I was so glad to put away the trauma of wondering whether or not a guy likes you, wondering if you're being to forward, wondering if you're not being forward enough, wondering if he's going to call you, wondering how to get him to stop calling you, etc. However, I now find myself right back in a similar situation. ARGHH!!
Making new friends, once married, feels to me a lot like dating. I totally feel like a single person again as I sit in church and scope out the congregation for possible friends. I mentally tick through my list of characteristics I'm looking for as my eyes sweep from row to row. "too old, too young, too many kids, intimidating . . . ". Then I find someone I think I could get along with and I've got to get up the guts to set up a time to hang out.
This hang out time reminds me so much of a blind date. I often don't know a lot about the person and I find myself worrying that we won't have anything to talk about, or that I'll say something stupid (I'm know to do that every now and again), or that we won't click. These worries often help me talk myself out of setting up a time to hang out. Fun times.
I'm hoping that now that I'm living away from home I'll be able to get rid of all my insecurities and make some friends. I find, especially now that I'm home all day with Munchkin, that I really need some female companionship and adult conversation.
Anyone have any ideas for stellar "blind dates" when meeting new friends?
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5 comments:
Oh, you're better than me. I'm not so great at making friends...wish I could come up with some great advice.
We always start with dinner. We usually set up a time on a Sunday afternoon or evening when we can invite them over for dinner. I figure that everyone has to eat and if the conversation isn't going well you can blame it on the fantastic food that everyone kept shoveling into their mouths. If dinner is a little too much try dessert. I am going to call you. Do I have your updated info?
I find play dates work the best for me. Then, if you are lacking in things to say to the adult, you talk to your child. Beyond that, I stink at it. You know. We've had this conversation many times!
Just be glad that you are not trying to do the single thing AND trying to make new friends. Not so much fun. I think you should talk to people in church and invite them to go do something. That is what works for me, although, I haven't done it a lot so I'm not quite sure how well it really works.
Glad to know I am not too old, young, have too many kids and am not intimidating!!! Seriously though, you are my only friend in the ward and you instigated! You can do this.
This semester I have more days available - Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday mornings. Let's get together. Unless I totally bug you and you want to make new friends to get away from me!!
And sorry if I sounded weird on the phone today - my kids were in the middle of fighting over Mommy's lap. Let me tell ya, Lyssa is fiesty and poor Harrison was getting hurt. Then as soon as Todd came home they were all smily and yelling, "Daddy"...grrrr
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